How to build rapport on the phone: tone, words and listening

Why does rapport matter so much on a sales call?

People buy from people they know, like and trust, and they warm fastest to people who seem like them. Face to face, you get help from a smile, a handshake and body language. On the phone you have none of that. Your voice, your words and your listening carry the whole relationship.

You also have very little time. Jenny Cartwright's rule of thumb is that you get about 15 seconds to make a good first impression on the phone. With so many people now screening unknown numbers, the ones who do answer decide even faster whether you are worth their time.

The reward for getting it right is big. When a customer feels you are on their side, objections soften, questions get honest answers and the close feels like the natural next step rather than a hurdle.

What tone of voice works best on the phone?

Tone tells the customer how to feel about what you are saying. Jenny borrows five tones from a well known (and famously high-pressure) sales trainer and teaches them the ethical way: to make an honest offer sound as good as it really is.

Here is the exercise Jenny gives: record your next sales call, play it back and score yourself from 1 to 10 on each tone. It can be uncomfortable the first time, and it is the fastest feedback you will ever get. Work on your lowest score this week, so that next week's calls sound like the capable professional you are.

Stand up to sound like the boss

Standing while you call gives your voice more power. You sound like the decision maker rather than the new starter. Test it: record the same opening sitting down and then standing up, and listen to the difference.

How do you match a customer's language?

Listen to the words a customer uses and you will hear how they take in the world. Jenny teaches three patterns:

• Visual people say 'I see what you mean', 'show me' and 'it looks like'. Paint pictures for them.
• Auditory people say 'I hear what you're saying', 'tell me more' and 'it sounds good'. Talk them through it, and offer audio rather than a video.
• Kinaesthetic people say 'I get the feeling', 'I need to grasp the concept' and 'how do you feel about that?' Describe the experience and how it will feel.

When you don't know the customer yet, describe your offer in all three ways so nobody tunes out. Jenny's real estate example does it in one breath: 'The house overlooks the golf course and you can actually hear the river flowing past. You get the feeling you are in the middle of the countryside.'

Match their pace too. Speak a little faster with a fast talker and slow down for someone who is thinking aloud. You are not copying them. You are making yourself easy to listen to.

Adjust your approach to the four behaviour styles

One script does not fit every customer. Jenny uses the DISC model to help salespeople recognise four behaviour styles and adapt to each:

• Dominance (the decision maker): driving, competitive and decisive. Be businesslike and direct, skip the small talk and be ready for sharp questions.
• Influencing (the networker): talkative, enthusiastic and friendly. Enjoy a little personal chat and let them talk about themselves.
• Steadiness (the supporter): patient, loyal and reliable. Keep it informal and low pressure, and build their confidence step by step.
• Conforming (the analyst): accurate, systematic and cautious. Bring facts and figures, speak deliberately and keep the social chat brief.

Small phone habits that quietly break rapport

Rapport can be lost in a word. These are the everyday phone habits Jenny asks salespeople to drop, with a better choice for each:

• Over-familiar slang instead of the customer's name. Use their name; it is personal and professional at once.
• 'Yep, yep' while they talk. Say 'yes', once.
• 'Not bad' when asked how you are. Try 'fantastic' or 'really well, thank you'.
• 'Bear with me' while you check something. Ask 'Would you mind holding for a moment?'
• 'Cheers' as a sign-off. Say 'Thank you for your call' or a warm goodbye.
• Criticising a competitor. It makes you look small and pushes the customer to defend their choice.

None of these will lose a sale on its own. Together they decide whether you sound like someone the customer wants to deal with again. For more swaps, see Jenny's list of words to use and avoid in sales conversations.

Can you build rapport before you even call?

Yes, and the best salespeople do. Jenny tells the story of a local real estate agent who ran a Father's Day competition by postcard: 'Write in 25 words or less why your Dad is the best.' Both her sons entered. The following Saturday the agent rang each boy personally with the result, then delivered the second prize, a bottle of champagne, to the door himself. By the time he left he had chatted with the whole family, heard their plans to sell one day and shared tips on adding value to their home.

The question for you: what could you give away, share or invite people to, so that your call is expected and welcome? A useful checklist, a free review or a short webinar all work. A call that follows a gift starts with goodwill already in the bank.

Listen more than you talk

You have two ears and one mouth, and rapport grows when you use them in that ratio. As Jenny puts it, the best way to make a good impression on someone is to let them give you their best impression of themselves. Good questions make that possible.

• Ask open questions that start with how, what and tell me. Jenny's questions to use on a telephone sales call give you plenty to choose from.
• Repeat back the key words they use, so they know you heard.
• Take notes during the call and log them in your CRM, so the next call picks up where this one left off.
• Leave a pause after they finish. People often add the most important detail when you don't rush in.

If your whole team needs to sound warmer and more engaging, Jenny can run this as live online training on Zoom or as in-house training at your office, using your own calls and customers.